There is no shame, I always say, in being a virgin at 90. You could just be a late bloomer, ready for ample opportunities that may still arise in the years ahead.
George is big. But even when researchers forced him to slim down, he could not get a date
Lonesome George proves my point. Between 60 and 90 years old, he’s met many ladies, but nobody he really liked. And then, there was this Special Girl…The world held its breath, but we don’t know exactly what transpired between George and his woman. She left some eggs in his bachelor quarters, but it turned out they were infertile. This still doesn’t mean George should ‘hurry up’, but possibly he should be less picky. Maybe lower his standards just a little?
George in a sincere close-up
You see, George is the very last of his species. Think about that. What if you were the last human on earth? At some point in our history, it is believed, there were only around a thousand homo sapiens left. They could easily have gone extinct. What if you’d been the last one of them? How lonely would you feel? How desperate for a date?
There are no other Pinta Island Giant tortoises, it seems. Conservationists are doing their best to quell his loneliness, and to see to it that at least part of him is preserved. For years they’ve been trying to pair him with two attractive, charming Volcán Wolf tortoises, but George just prefers to play video-games, or whatever it is his people do.
Of course, George still has half his life ahead of him. Still, some people do start to get worry that his may be a case of “use it or lose it”. Or are the researchers overlooking something? Could it be that George is just not interested in women?
Not just any other species of tortoise will do…
Initially, researchers rejoiced when they located a possibly purebreed Pinta Island tortoise. And then they unrejoiced upon discovering (never the easiest job with turtles) that it was a male. Tony now lives in a Prague Zoo, when conceivably, Tony and George could have found happiness with each other. What a pity.
Meanwhile, the conversationists stubbornly carry on trying to persuade George to show an interest in females. In January of this year, they decided that he might have a better chance of breeding with Hood Island Giant Tortoises instead of the Volcán Wolf floozies, and two new hot gals were transported to George’s pen. Perhaps a Christian counselor, knowledgeable about such matters, should be transported to the pen, too. For now, we’ll keep our fingers crossed, but I’d be surprised if we hear that George has finally knocked up one of the girls, any time soon.
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